Today I was jealous.
Not like the nice jealous, the angry jealous.
Over this past week I have unintentionally started making a list of the things I hate about my house.
Dangerous territory right there.
Faucets that leak around the handles, crappy sinks, bad plumbing, semi-functioning appliances, noisy garage door, the green paint, and the baseboards. Seriously, its the baseboards that take me over the edge.
Today, as I washed my hands, started a load in the dishwasher, un-clogged the toilet, and looked down at the baseboards I was a little cranky.
Then I started my van, which made it known to all of creation that I am firing it up, and stepped on the brakes to slow my roll down the hill only to add to the beauty of the morning birds with the sweet sweet sound of squeaky brakes.
Again, cranky.
I found a great parking spot at work and went about my day, all was well for a Monday.
And then 2:30 hit and my brain turned to a green pool of jealous anger.
I was leaving the High School parking lot and my dream Range Rover being driven by a 16 year old student pulled out in front of me. No worries about pulling in front of me. It was that this 16 year old kid is driving a $90,000+ vehicle. Then everywhere I looked I saw shiny new cars, some without plates yet, driving all over the parking lot by kids. Little tots who have not worked a day in their life and yet are leaving school in these gorgeous luxury SUV's.
A deep breath.
Then I recalled that I had seen the name of the street that the student I am working with lives on. You don't even need an address on this street, it is that spectacular. Like all you need to know is THIS STREET and you know that money oozes from the sprinkler system.
Their grass is probably more valuable on the open market than my house.
I started to feel an anger rise up within me.
Why? Why was I suddenly so angry?
Is it because they have mansions and fancy SUV's?
I didn't think so, I mean really what does one do with 5000 square feet?
Then I wrapped my head around it all. The bottom line is somewhere in my brain I kind of felt like I deserved more than a crappy house and a van with 180,000 miles on it.
But the reality is, I deserve nothing.
All that I have is by the blessings and grace of God.
He has secured provisions for me here on this earth and in the everafter.
If I got what I deserved, I would have a poorly drawn sign on the corner of a crowded street.
I'm not suggesting that my jealousy mysteriously disappeared, but the angry part did fall away.
A bit.
I pray that these people who have been blessed with much have the opportunity to bless others.
Not like the nice jealous, the angry jealous.
Over this past week I have unintentionally started making a list of the things I hate about my house.
Dangerous territory right there.
Faucets that leak around the handles, crappy sinks, bad plumbing, semi-functioning appliances, noisy garage door, the green paint, and the baseboards. Seriously, its the baseboards that take me over the edge.
Today, as I washed my hands, started a load in the dishwasher, un-clogged the toilet, and looked down at the baseboards I was a little cranky.
Then I started my van, which made it known to all of creation that I am firing it up, and stepped on the brakes to slow my roll down the hill only to add to the beauty of the morning birds with the sweet sweet sound of squeaky brakes.
Again, cranky.
I found a great parking spot at work and went about my day, all was well for a Monday.
And then 2:30 hit and my brain turned to a green pool of jealous anger.
I was leaving the High School parking lot and my dream Range Rover being driven by a 16 year old student pulled out in front of me. No worries about pulling in front of me. It was that this 16 year old kid is driving a $90,000+ vehicle. Then everywhere I looked I saw shiny new cars, some without plates yet, driving all over the parking lot by kids. Little tots who have not worked a day in their life and yet are leaving school in these gorgeous luxury SUV's.
A deep breath.
Then I recalled that I had seen the name of the street that the student I am working with lives on. You don't even need an address on this street, it is that spectacular. Like all you need to know is THIS STREET and you know that money oozes from the sprinkler system.
Their grass is probably more valuable on the open market than my house.
I started to feel an anger rise up within me.
Why? Why was I suddenly so angry?
Is it because they have mansions and fancy SUV's?
I didn't think so, I mean really what does one do with 5000 square feet?
Then I wrapped my head around it all. The bottom line is somewhere in my brain I kind of felt like I deserved more than a crappy house and a van with 180,000 miles on it.
But the reality is, I deserve nothing.
All that I have is by the blessings and grace of God.
He has secured provisions for me here on this earth and in the everafter.
If I got what I deserved, I would have a poorly drawn sign on the corner of a crowded street.
I'm not suggesting that my jealousy mysteriously disappeared, but the angry part did fall away.
A bit.
I pray that these people who have been blessed with much have the opportunity to bless others.
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