Ashamed.

Every once in a while I am ashamed to call myself a Christian.  Not because I am ashamed to be a follower of Christ, but because I do not want to be associated with the actions of other Christians.

I seem to be having these feelings more and more frequently these days.
I'm disappointed in the Christians who are apparently working hard to make Christians out to be something contrary to the very simple definition given to us in the Bible.
And I'm disappointed in myself for allowing myself to be frustrated by these people.

A Christian is a Christ follower.
A Christ follower will try his/her imperfect best to learn and follow the commandments and teachings of the Bible.
While that seems simple enough on paper it is not that easily packaged in real life.

How many people are turned off by the petty bickering among Christians regarding nonessential, unimportant-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things, details of religion?  How many fights break out over differing opinions on "what the Bible really says about....?" or how many hours of life is spent trying to make an declarative claim about how God feels about this or that?

I was raised in church, spent my entire adult life as a believer in Christ, and yet I sit here tonight questioning if I really want to associate myself with this label.

I want a new label.
I want a label that says "I know that God sent his son Jesus to bear the sins of the world and pay the penalty for sin in my place so that I may have a personal relationship with the trinity of God." 
I want a label that says "I know God has me in his hands.  My highs and lows, the good and bad are allowed by God and I'm never far from his reach, his forgiveness, or his love."
I want a label that says "I don't understand God and I don't really know how everything here on earth is supposed to work, but I know that he has given me grace and peace to help me make my way through this life, and my life here on earth and in the ever after is better because of it."

I would rather someone say of me "I want what she has" than "she must be a Christian" because these days the impression I am getting of Christians as a general group is that these people are judgmental, hateful, and unforgiving, and focused on the most petty issues ever.

So my prayer as I enter into 2016 is simple.

Dear God,
Help me not to be those things that drive me crazy.
Let me offer the same amount of Grace that is given to me.
Let me be love to those around me.
Let me close my eyes to the issues that are really meaningless.
Let my words be wise.
Help me be a messy reflection of who you are and who you desire me to be.









Comments

Anonymous said…
hmmm... interesting. I have had the same thought for a while now too. I now tell people I am a "believer" just to get away from that standard word that doesn't seem to do Christ any justice. I think you need an attention-getter one-word label... maybe tri-une God follower?! ok, that's not one word!

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