Staring at a blank screen for the past ten minutes has not accomplished anything but sore eyes.
In the absence of knowing exactly how to begin this post, I shall start with this:

Psalm 139:13 "for you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb"

Regardless of what people believe about how the earth came to be, how humans made their entrance onto the scene, and at what moment a child is really a life, I argue that one thing must be accepted by everyone...the precision that is required for a sperm and egg to join together to produce a magnificent human is mind blowing.
Sperm meets egg despite the hurricane snow storm it has to get through to find the egg, then they attach to a life source, multiply a million times, and form all the different organs, limbs and features that has become accepted as normal in human beings.  
Cells multiply to become a child.  Still baffling.
Then baby grows and grows and travels through the most ridiculous transport method known to all man, and woman kind, in order to enter into this world.

It is often easy for me to take for granted that a couple that wants a baby will conceive, in a timely manner, and the baby will be born perfectly healthy. But it should not be taken for granted.

Today, I dropped the boys off at school and was met by T employee at the school who is the mother of Eli's friend and someone who I speak to often in passing.  She rushed out to the car and said she felt she needed to tell me news that Gabriel's teacher's baby died.  
T and I had talked before about how nervous I was that Gabriel's teacher was pregnant.  Not only is it frustrating for Gabriel to have frequent substitutes when the teacher is sick or has doctor appointment, I have a fear of the baby's death.  T remembered the conversation we had about last year's experience with a pregnant teacher and she felt compelled to talk to me.  I broke down in tears and asked her to please bring me Gabriel.
Last year Gabriel's teacher, Mrs. G, delivered her baby 10 weeks early and the baby died shortly after birth.  Mrs. G never returned to school and the loss of his teacher and her baby was very difficult for Gabriel.  He loves her and still talks about Mrs. G often and talks about how sad he is that her baby died.  He often prays for her, that she will have joy.
When his teacher this year announced she was pregnant, my heart sank.  No!  We love her and don't want her to go out on maternity leave!  I found myself praying for her health and the baby's health regularly!  As I got to know her more, we have talked about the baby a lot, she shows me ultrasound pictures and we have also spoken about the scary things in pregnancy.  She told me that Gabriel told her about Mrs. G's baby.  I apologized and explained that it weighed heavily on him because he loved Mrs. G so much.
Upon hearing the news today my heart first broke for Mrs. M and then for my sweet Gabriel.  How is it even possible to have your teacher's baby die two years in a row?
Once Gabriel was in the car I told him we were going home for a bit. He said "mom...I sure hope I am back in time for the announcement!"  I asked "what announcement?" Yesterday, Mrs. M went to the doctor with plans to find out the sex of the baby and today was the day they would all find out if she was having a girl or a boy.
At home I broke the news to Gabriel and his little heart was so crushed.  He curled up in my lap and just cried and held me tight.  
I received a call from T.  The administration is not so happy that she told me, apparently they are not notifying the students and parents yet.  I started to question whether I should have brought G home and told him or just waited until the school handled things there.  At the moment that I brought him home, I just knew that he was going to be crushed and I didn't want that kind of news and emotion to come out at school.  I'm glad T told me, I'm glad I was able to have G at home this morning and now I am just praying that T won't have any punishment at school and that G will be silent on the issue with his friends.
But above all, I pray for a woman and a man, a big sister and brother, a family and friends who have had their heart broken over the loss of this precious miracle that didn't quite make it into this world.  I pray that she will one day have joy returned and that God's love and comfort would be ever present.

**Update.  Turns out no, Gabriel could not be silent on the issue.  He told one little friend in class...the school hasn't said a word yet, holding out some hope that the two of these kids can be quiet about it until the rest can be told responsibly **



Comments

Allison said…
Oh my goodness, I'm heartbroken and teary-eyed. Poor Gabe. I love knowing how to pray for you all, and will.

Popular Posts