Parking 101

Within a few days of turning 16 I took my drivers test. I passed with a 99%. My only deduction was for converting a "3-point turn" into a 5 point turn. Not bad.
While I am a pretty good driver, I'm a horrible parker. I have never successfully parallel parked my car with an actual obstacle in front and in back of it and the only time I have ever attempted to park on the street has been when there is enough room for about 5 cars. And even then, it looks like a 10 year old parked because my van is sticking out into the road, on the curb or possibly facing against traffic.
Parallel parking sends me into a little panic attack, even if I am not the driver. The scenario goes like this: Matt approaches potential parking spot, I start freaking out, I close my eyes and scream "Matt Matt Matt Matt", and then I bail out of the car and wait on the curb until Matt finishes parking.
I also have serious issues with parking the van in general. I will park a million miles away to avoid a tight parking situation and when I do get in a tight spot I convince myself that there is no way I can get out of a parking spot without hitting the cars beside and behind me. I once sat in a parking lot for about 10 minutes waiting for people to return to their cars and leave so I could leave. I finally gave in and backed out.
Today, I had a parking panic moment. I parked on the street (more like an alley) in front of my friend's house. No worries, there were no cars in front or behind me. But, when he came time to leave there was trouble. The street was a dead end and there was no turn-around. I was in the van, there was snow on the ground and the alley was so narrow - how was I going to get out? Easy, pull into a driveway and then back around. Wrong. Not easy. The driveways here are insanely narrow with pretty brick columns on each side. So, I pull into a driveway and start to maneuver my beast around in order to turn around when panic sets in.
"I can't make it, I'll be stuck on this street forever. I'm going to block traffic and die here." I didn't have time to panic though because Eli was minutes from getting out of school and I had to get the van turned around and home fast.
I did a 35 point turn and was headed back up the street when I realized my friend was standing out in her driveway the whole time watching me. I left a hat in her house and she walked out to the street to give it to me when I passed by, but I wasn't passing by. I was having a panic attack 4 doors down in her neighbors driveway. The shame. The horror. The disgust.
Raise your hand if I have jumped out of the van and required YOU to park my car for me. Raise your hand if I forced you to get the van out of a parking spot for me. Raise your hand if you were in the van with me when I had a panic attack and accepted the fact that we would just have to stay in the van forever? Anyone? Put your hands down, I know who you are.
What is my problem? I need to take Parking 101. I need to learn how to park so that I don't end up freaking out in parking lots and narrow streets. The van isn't getting any skinnier and the roads and parking spots here are not getting any wider. I must learn how to park!

Comments

I would have to say that I to raised my hand! Oh and Riss, a panic attack is an understatement! LOL!
Unknown said…
double hands up! So, your telling me Germany is worse than DC?!

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