Princess Dethroned
I have waited a few weeks to discuss the momentous events surrounding the loss of her crown, out of respect for my husband, but the time has finally come to make a public statement about the dethroning of Pretty Pretty Princess.
There comes a time in every reign where a Princess is shaken. Naked tabloid photos, scandalous dealings with the charity's expense accounts, a poorly chosen outfit for the naming of a ship ceremony, the list can go on and on.
Pretty Pretty Princess was on display in the Southern gardens when Matt bolted out of the garage in my van. Suddenly the world stopped spinning and everything was i n s l o w m o t i o n. I screamed "Maaaaaaaaaattttt".
He looked at me like I was a crazy person.
Then he looked back at what I was freaking out about.
Yep.
The old beater silver mini-van was introduced, rather abruptly and in quite a scandalous manner, to the Pretty Pretty Princess.
It was at that moment that the stability of her crown was first tested, and it was jolted off a bit.
There was a little paint transfer on the Princess and perhaps a minor dent, but it was mostly undetectable. Of course it is always the commoners that get the real brunt of a scandal such as this. Traces of the princess mar the rear end of the van.
I was horrified. More about how much more could have been damaged than the actual damage.
I actually saved the world that day.
Those fancy side mirrors cost a dang fortune but thankfully my quick thinking and high pitched fit saved the mirror.
No longer pristine. She had been violated. Image tainted. The Princess was suddenly not quite as Pretty.
Just when the dust was starting to settle in the great BackingUpGate of 2015 another blast was about to rock the kingdom.
A big truck aggressively encroached on Princess' kingdom boundaries and her royal highness became another statistic in the world of Pretty Princesses moving from the pages of People Magazine to US Weekly. She can't seem to stay out of trouble these days.
The damage done this time was not exactly the kind that one could ignore. Legal advisors were brought in and damage control was estimated at $4000 not to include the cost of a substitute Princess and other incidentals.
The Princess has lost her crown.
I will no longer park her out in the boondocks to prevent her from being banged up by wild paparazzi. She loses royal treatment. She's just another one-time pretty girl who dreamed of a place in a palace.
Out of respect for those closely affiliated with her, she can be called Dutchess but she has no crown and no curtsies are required.
There comes a time in every reign where a Princess is shaken. Naked tabloid photos, scandalous dealings with the charity's expense accounts, a poorly chosen outfit for the naming of a ship ceremony, the list can go on and on.
Pretty Pretty Princess was on display in the Southern gardens when Matt bolted out of the garage in my van. Suddenly the world stopped spinning and everything was i n s l o w m o t i o n. I screamed "Maaaaaaaaaattttt".
He looked at me like I was a crazy person.
Then he looked back at what I was freaking out about.
Yep.
The old beater silver mini-van was introduced, rather abruptly and in quite a scandalous manner, to the Pretty Pretty Princess.
It was at that moment that the stability of her crown was first tested, and it was jolted off a bit.
There was a little paint transfer on the Princess and perhaps a minor dent, but it was mostly undetectable. Of course it is always the commoners that get the real brunt of a scandal such as this. Traces of the princess mar the rear end of the van.
I was horrified. More about how much more could have been damaged than the actual damage.
I actually saved the world that day.
Those fancy side mirrors cost a dang fortune but thankfully my quick thinking and high pitched fit saved the mirror.
No longer pristine. She had been violated. Image tainted. The Princess was suddenly not quite as Pretty.
Just when the dust was starting to settle in the great BackingUpGate of 2015 another blast was about to rock the kingdom.
A big truck aggressively encroached on Princess' kingdom boundaries and her royal highness became another statistic in the world of Pretty Princesses moving from the pages of People Magazine to US Weekly. She can't seem to stay out of trouble these days.
The damage done this time was not exactly the kind that one could ignore. Legal advisors were brought in and damage control was estimated at $4000 not to include the cost of a substitute Princess and other incidentals.
The Princess has lost her crown.
I will no longer park her out in the boondocks to prevent her from being banged up by wild paparazzi. She loses royal treatment. She's just another one-time pretty girl who dreamed of a place in a palace.
Out of respect for those closely affiliated with her, she can be called Dutchess but she has no crown and no curtsies are required.
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