Calm in a Storm

One on the kids on Eli's basketball team has brother that is a "special friend".  A few weeks ago at a game, a kid was taking out the ball - standing on the sidelines, and the special friend decided it was time for a hug.  He reached out and grabbed the kid and gave him the biggest hug ever imaginable....and wouldn't let go.  It was hilarious.
Tonight the special friend was not in a good mood.  He came in a little grumpy and then went high side when he was told to change seats.  Never in my life has the idea of "everyone move down one seat" been so traumatic.  I honestly don't know what this lady was thinking, but for some reason she deemed it more important for her family of 6 to sit together forcing everyone in the row to move, than to break up the family for one hour.  Clearly, she underestimated the effect this would have on our special friend.  Matt and I were both willing to just move somewhere else in order to not upset our friend but the family was already in motion, and all hell broke loose.
The special friend went violent.  He was screaming, flailing, punching, hitting throwing chairs....I can't really explain just how chaotic the scene was.  A few moments before the game was to start there seemed to be no calm in sight.  Players were getting antsy, fans were shifting uncomfortably, and I was praying for peace to come over him.
Finally, the players hit the court, the excitement of the game filled the gym, and the episode finally came to an end.  The parents found their glasses, chairs and other objects that had gone flying and settled in to watch the game.
I have never been more in awe of parents than I was tonight.
In all this chaos, mom and dad were quietly, calmly, attempting to restrain him while defending themselves.  I think everyone in the room wanted them to just take him home.  But they resisted the glares and whispers of the crowd and continued their battle.  The special friend didn't want to be at the game, and if they took him out, he wins and his brother doesn't get the support of his family.  But they stayed.
As I saw the battle, I saw mom and dad forcibly grabbing their son, my heart broke for them.  As parents we want to cuddle our kids not physically fight them.  Their manner in dealing with him was proof that they had a lot of experience with these battles.  I wondered just how often they find themselves in this situation.
While their battle tonight was physical, it is similar to the battle that many parents today are having with their kids.  The kids want to do something, the parents don't want them to and social pressure is for them to give in to the kids' desires.  The glaring eyes of the other parents at school is nearly enough pressure to just give in.
The good parents, the courageous parents will stay and fight.  They will grab hold of their kids and show them they love them in the most difficult ways.  About 12 years ago I was riding in the car with my niece and my sister.  My niece wanted to listen to "her" music.  I think my sister felt bad for subjecting me to the playlist of Barney and Wee Sing, so she told her "no".  My niece started whining and crying.  Finally my sister said to her "what do you think whining is going to get you?"  and in the tiniest little Cindy Loo Who voice she said "my music?" I may or may not have stifled my laugh.
The point is good parents do what they know in their heart is right, not what everyone else or their kid thinks they should do.
I wanted to cry tonight, but I didn't.  Instead I sat back and just prayed that God would bless these amazing people who have chosen to adopt, love, and care for multiple special needs kids.

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