So Mad I Could Spit
What does that even mean?
I've heard it before.
Does that mean I'm so mad I want to spit on you?
Or I'm so mad I am going to spit on the ground in protest?
I'm not sure what it's originators meant, but I know what it meant tonight in my house.
I was so mad at my eldest son that whilst barking at him, spittle came flying out of my mouth. No kidding I saw it fly through the air.
I think that means that I was talking so fast and so furiously that I didn't take time to swallow.
Not pretty.
But real.
I was in the bedroom when the boys started bickering about something. Then I heard Eli in Gabe's room, and Gabe telling him to leave. Then Eli insisting on playing with the keyboard in Gabe's room. I was changing in my room, and after a very long day I decided I was going to pretend I didn't hear them arguing and just go on about my business.
The walls are thin in this house and despite my best efforts to ignore the kids' little scuffle I heard enough.
I did take a deep cleansing breath but it seemed to do no good.
I opened my door to find Eli sitting in the hall badgering his brother. Gabe wasn't in Eli's room. Gabe was in his own room, in his own bed, and like a big bully, Eli was going into Gabe's "safe space" and then sitting in the haul just taunting him from afar. Like Goliath shouting at David from the hills.
The last words Eli said tonight were "TAG...you aren't gifted or talented why did they let you in?"
That was preceded by a lengthy, one sided conversation, that consisted of Eli telling Gabe how he was going to tell the neighbor friend not to play with Gabe anymore. Eli has been known to tell Gabe things like "go get my sweatshirt. If you don't, I won't let you play with me". Fury.
I am pretty low key when it comes to the kids arguing. I don't get my feathers ruffled too easy. They are kids, they are brothers, they are going to bicker and I'm not going to intervene every single time.
However, nothing fires me up more than when I hear kids being manipulative and hurtful and mean just for the sake of being those things.
Eli was being hurtful and mean. I don't know why and quite frankly I don't care.
I love this boy. He is so sweet and respectful, kind and funny unless the moon is aligned with orion's belt (this happens like once a week) and he isn't happy with Gabe, then he is super evil and mean.
There is rarely a time when I look at Eli and think "you are not my child". But when Eli acts like this, I shake my head and squint my eyes, start breathing heavily and consider denying his birthright. Ok, so there isn't a birthright but I want to smack him. Or as I did tonight, go on such a crazy rant that I spit.
I'm not suggesting that my response was appropriate. OK fine it probably didn't do any good at all, other than let Eli know how disgusted I am with that behavior.
I have met mean, manipulative adults and kids before and I hated them. So naturally, God gave me one sweet boy who regularly has a psychotic moment and spews pure nastiness out of his mouth.
It is heartbreaking to see kids being mean to other kids, it is particularly heartbreaking to see best friends do it to each other. They may not admit it freely but these boys love each other, and love playing together. They just forget sometimes.
Oh dear Lord, help Eli get control of this little part of him that wants to manipulate and be mean! Otherwise, I'll probably spit on him again.
I've heard it before.
Does that mean I'm so mad I want to spit on you?
Or I'm so mad I am going to spit on the ground in protest?
I'm not sure what it's originators meant, but I know what it meant tonight in my house.
I was so mad at my eldest son that whilst barking at him, spittle came flying out of my mouth. No kidding I saw it fly through the air.
I think that means that I was talking so fast and so furiously that I didn't take time to swallow.
Not pretty.
But real.
I was in the bedroom when the boys started bickering about something. Then I heard Eli in Gabe's room, and Gabe telling him to leave. Then Eli insisting on playing with the keyboard in Gabe's room. I was changing in my room, and after a very long day I decided I was going to pretend I didn't hear them arguing and just go on about my business.
The walls are thin in this house and despite my best efforts to ignore the kids' little scuffle I heard enough.
I did take a deep cleansing breath but it seemed to do no good.
I opened my door to find Eli sitting in the hall badgering his brother. Gabe wasn't in Eli's room. Gabe was in his own room, in his own bed, and like a big bully, Eli was going into Gabe's "safe space" and then sitting in the haul just taunting him from afar. Like Goliath shouting at David from the hills.
The last words Eli said tonight were "TAG...you aren't gifted or talented why did they let you in?"
That was preceded by a lengthy, one sided conversation, that consisted of Eli telling Gabe how he was going to tell the neighbor friend not to play with Gabe anymore. Eli has been known to tell Gabe things like "go get my sweatshirt. If you don't, I won't let you play with me". Fury.
I am pretty low key when it comes to the kids arguing. I don't get my feathers ruffled too easy. They are kids, they are brothers, they are going to bicker and I'm not going to intervene every single time.
However, nothing fires me up more than when I hear kids being manipulative and hurtful and mean just for the sake of being those things.
Eli was being hurtful and mean. I don't know why and quite frankly I don't care.
I love this boy. He is so sweet and respectful, kind and funny unless the moon is aligned with orion's belt (this happens like once a week) and he isn't happy with Gabe, then he is super evil and mean.
There is rarely a time when I look at Eli and think "you are not my child". But when Eli acts like this, I shake my head and squint my eyes, start breathing heavily and consider denying his birthright. Ok, so there isn't a birthright but I want to smack him. Or as I did tonight, go on such a crazy rant that I spit.
I'm not suggesting that my response was appropriate. OK fine it probably didn't do any good at all, other than let Eli know how disgusted I am with that behavior.
I have met mean, manipulative adults and kids before and I hated them. So naturally, God gave me one sweet boy who regularly has a psychotic moment and spews pure nastiness out of his mouth.
It is heartbreaking to see kids being mean to other kids, it is particularly heartbreaking to see best friends do it to each other. They may not admit it freely but these boys love each other, and love playing together. They just forget sometimes.
Oh dear Lord, help Eli get control of this little part of him that wants to manipulate and be mean! Otherwise, I'll probably spit on him again.
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