Weight of the World

At the end of March, Matt's mom and I are going on a quick trip to Dresden and Prague. The plan is for the boys to stay with Mika so we can have a little getaway without the fuss of entertaining the kids. The boys have already been to Prague and could really care less about seeing another old city anyway.

Eli and I were talking about plans for that weekend and he started inquiring about the details. He seemed torn between missing school and hanging out with Grandma, and staying home with Aunt Mika. After thinking about it for a minute I gave him the option of joining us. I told him he could come with us if he wanted to, but he couldn't complain about walking around the cities all day, eating weird food, and the long drive there and back. He wanted to go just so that he could see Grandma but he decided he was going to go wherever Gabe goes. This seemed odd. The boys usually enjoy their time away from each other.

I asked him why he wanted to do what Gabe did and his response shocked me. He said that he gets nervous for Gabe when they are not together.

"Don't you think Aunt Mika will take good care of him if you were with me?"

"Oh yeh" he said "But I even worry about him when he is at home with you and I'm not here". He went on to tell me that when he was at Swiss Camp last summer he was very worried about Gabe being at home with me. He felt like if he wasn't here something might happen to him.

Is this sentiment because of that one time I lost Gabe in the Luisenpark? Or is this what big brother's love looks like?

While I thought it was so sweet that he truly cares so deeply about his brother that he worries about how he will get along without him, I was sad that Eli feels the burden of responsibility for Gabe's' well being.

The traits that drive us crazy about Eli right now are traits that God has given him in order to make him a strong and noble leader. Eli always wants to know what is going on so he can plan accordingly, he knows the rules and wants to get everyone else in line to follow them, he is pushy, bossy, and he questions why things have to be a certain way. He takes responsibility for everyone around him that is younger than him - even when it is not his place. Right now, this causes trouble for him, but when he matures and learns how to use his innate ability to lead and when he learns how to handle the responsibility of others' willingness to follow he will be amazing.