Good Kids Gone Bad

These past two weeks have been a little stressful with regards to the kids' school.

Eli is doing well academically and behaviorally. He is smart, but rushes. So if he isn't forced to go back and review his work or to really take the time to read and follow instructions the results are mediocrity. When he spends a little more time with an assignment he does very well.

He does struggle with one issue with his behavior - the hallway. I don't know why the hallway is such a problem for him but 90% of his behavioral complaints occur when he is walking from one class to another. Talking, skipping, dancing, leap-frogging other kids in line and sometimes intentional tripping are all on the list of things Eli is accused of doing in the hall. None are malicious. He is just goofing off and chatting between class. A big no-no in this school where all the halls are interior and when a class of rowdy kids stroll by it can be very disruptive to the other classrooms.

All was going well with Eli until two weeks ago when a parent from the class called me to talk about "what happened today". I had no idea anything happened that day. Eli is honest in the most literal sense. He will answer your questions truthfully. However, he hasn't grasped that omission is a little side shoot of lying. He didn't bother to tell me that he was brought into the counselors office and warned that if he repeated his behavior, the MP's would be called, he could be kicked out of school and his dad would get reprimanded by his Command. What was this serious act? Tickling. Yep. Apparently, at that moment the counselor determined tickling to be sexual harassment, gave it that label, and handed down a stern warning accordingly. At no point was I called regarding the issue.

I had a little chat with Dr. Counselor and made it very clear that he should not use a term such as "sexual harassment" with my child unless he fully intends to have me sitting in the office with him. In the end, he admitted that the term was inappropriate and his warnings were far too harsh. Not exactly an apology, but he has since decided to follow school policy in requiring my permission to speak to Eli for any reason. I think he is afraid of me and I am perfectly OK with that. A successful resolution in my mind.

Coffee break....

Gabe... When I think of Gabe's academic situation I always shake my head and sigh. He is strong academically and not challenged at all in school. Behaviorally, he is a mess. I have on at least 5 or 6 occasions this year been pulled aside by a teacher to talk about Gabe. They all say the same thing "he is smart but...." I could detail all of Gabe's poor choices but most of it is just flat out defiance. Sometimes he thinks the reason in his head for not doing something is far more legitimate than the reason a teacher is telling him to do something. He loves his classroom teacher and rarely ever has a problem when she is around, it is with other authority figures that he pushes the limits. His latest round of disrespectful behavior has been directed to the PE teacher. It's PE. Who has behavioral problems in PE?

Gabe has disobeyed the PE teacher on two occasions. Both times he was told to sit on a specific line and he opted for a different one. Both times this resulted in him being sent to the counselor's office. While he did just flat defy the teacher, he never talked back to the teacher or made any type of violent protest. He is more of a Ghandi: he went silent and statuesque.

In my chat with the PE teacher yesterday he said "I haven't had any problems with Gabe all year until these last 3 weeks". The facts are there have been 100+ days of school so far. There have been two days that Gabe has been defiant. Because of this unacceptable record, I was pulled aside to talk about his behavioral issues. While I do truly appreciate the teachers catching me in the hall and telling me what is going on at school, it is the tone that is frustrating. The way he spoke about how horrible Gabe's behavior was seemed as if Gabe has been a thorn daily for the past three weeks. The teacher seemed simply exhausted with Gabe. Gabe has PE one day a week.

Gabe also has had some issues with other kids in the area of conflict resolution. Gabe has a short fuse. He acquired that from me. He has displayed unfriendly behavior on numerous occasions when he disagrees with a friend. Last week there was an incident where Gabe was pushed and he pushed back. The altercation sent him to the counselor's office...again. Now Gabe is signed up for behavioral counseling "once a week or as needed".

At the end of the day yesterday I slumped down into my chair and assessed the situation: despite my efforts to raise good boys, I now have a 9 year old who has been accused of sexual harassment and displays irreverent behavior in halls, and a 7 year old to doesn't like to sit on lines in PE, doesn't like substitutes, retaliates when provoked, has been known to push and yell at others, and is in counseling for conflict resolution and anger management.

My wallowing was interrupted by the phone ringing. It was Matt: "How are you?" Me: Hahahaha.