Pseudahistachyoritriameda what?

The funk has rolled in like a summer storm and dumped on our household. I got the funk, then Eli got the funk and now Gabe is trying valiantly to ward it off but I doubt he'll be successful.

Congested is the biggest complaint but cough, headache and occasional fever are bonus features.

I headed to the medicine cabinet to find some magical pill to make me feel better. As I stand in a fog grasping for anything I can find that spells relief, I'm confused, flabbergasted and now just exhausted by all the mental energy required to choose the right medication.

Option A: Cough and Runny Nose

Option B: Cold with Stuffy Nose

Option C: Severe Cold and Cough (nasal congestion, cough, runny nose, sneezing, body ache, sore throat pain, headache, fever)

Option D: Nasal Decongestant

Option E: Antihistamine, Cough Suppressant, Fever Reducer

My first thought is how can the same medication take care of a runny nose and a stuffy nose? In order to get rid of the stuffy doesn't it have to run?

Then I wonder if it is better to take a drug that doesn't cover all your ailments than one that covers ailments you don't have like a fever.

Finally, I pick my drug of choice and now I can't get the darn pill out of that super secure tab.