On Death and Memorial Services

One of my friends from high school recently died.  He fought a long, hard battle with cancer and left this earth at the young age of 47. I watched a video of his celebration of life service last weekend.

His good friend/pastor walked to the podium and pulled out some sheets of paper.  I fully expected him to proceed by telling the story of my friend's life and death. Instead of a chronological account of the highs in his life, his profession, awards, hobbies, accolades, and achievements, the speaker reminded the audience of who he really was.  He was a devoted family member, he was a servant to many, he was sarcastic, honest, giving and he was a follower of Christ. The words seemed to have no order and somehow told the story of my friend without telling a story.

I thought back to other eulogies I have heard and was struck by how different this one was.  I was used to hearing about someone's life from beginning to end, taking the audience on a journey passing through all the highs, barely touching on the lows, and peppering the account with a few anecdotal stories.  This eulogy was so different.  His life was really "others focused", he didn't want praise or glory, he just wanted to do his thing unnoticed, the words spoken about him at his funeral followed that theme. Stories were about who he helped, gifts he gave, words he spoke and the way he served.

It made me wonder, what will be included in my eulogy?  It could be a chronological story of the things I have done, places I’ve lived and things I’ve experienced.  But that isn't what I want people to speak about when I die. I want people to remember me for the relationships I held close, the times I made people laugh or said something shockingly thoughtful, I want to be known for the adventurous spirit within me, for being there when I was needed, and for living out my faith.

I could leave specific in my will as to how I want people to speak about me at the funeral, but really the best way to make sure that the words spoken about be when I am gone is by living my life now, the way I want to be remembered.