I work with a student who is fairly smart but struggles with
social skills. Sometimes I think he operates
on a loop with regards to social conversations.
He knows these few facts about people and he just keeps bringing them
up, over, and over, and over. Somehow he
manages to talk about one thing and sporadically insert these facts or
questions about other random things he knows into the conversation.
Every single time I see him he asks me how Eli is doing, he
tells me Gabe is sometimes funny, and he asks about my AI car. When we are together for longer periods of
time he asks me about the cruise we went on last winter, how many cruises I
have been on, and some other random things.
I think he asks questions he knows the answers to simply because he
doesn’t know what else to talk about. He doesn’t only do this with me, he does
it with anyone he has a relationship with.
I take him to an internship every week and every single week he goes
through a series of comments and questions about the same things with his
mentors. “So your son won 1st
in State for cross country, how long did you work on a cruise ship, so your son
lives in Hawaii….” He also has some
obsession with making sure he doesn’t break some FCC rules or copyright rules
while posting things on social media.
After hours of trying to talk through the legality of his choices I have
given up and simply say “if you think it could be bad, then just don’t do it
whether it is or not”.
I try to be patient but on the 50th time of him
asking me if we are driving my AI car I just lost it. “Yes.
It is the only car I drive. It is
the only car you have ever been in with me.
I will never drive another car with you.
The car will always be AI”. To
which he responded in his typical way “Oh cool”. And then promptly asked me “how is Eli doing?”
Sigh.
As frustrated as I am with my own kids at times, especially
now, when I sit with some of my students I take a deep breath and thank God for
what he has blessed me with. I am struggling
with the choices my kids are making but the reality is, THEY ARE MAKING THESE
CHOICES. It isn’t a situation where they
can’t be successful academically because of learning disabilities, where they can’t
assimilate with peers because of a lack of social skills or they can’t think
clearly or function normally because of some chronic physical or mental
condition. The fact that they are
choosing something other than what is best for them for the long haul is hard,
but on the other hand, I am thankful that my kids get to make their choices
with full understanding and knowledge of what they are doing, not because they
really don’t have the capacity.
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