Tech-tarded
I know it is a politically incorrect term, but since I'm talking about myself I think I can be politically incorrect.
I am technologically retarded = tech-tarded.
My computer isn't cooperating with me and so I called upon my house technology geek and guru to fix my problems.
He informs me that my problems cannot be solved in the manner in which I desire them to be solved.
This makes me angry.
My computer is slow.
When the toilet is flushing slowly I: get a plunger, get a plumbing snake, get drano. Problem solved. Drain is unclogged and toiled flushes normally.
How in 2015 is there not a comparable "fix" method for my computer?
I just need to get rid of the extra gunk in the pipe, and free the flow of information.
Why is it so difficult?
iphoto.
I hate you and love you.
I hate that you are so slow and annoyingly simple.
I love that you have all my photos organized and in one little swoop of the mouse I can super rapidly scan through all the pictures in that folder whilst searching for some gem I just know is in one of two or three folders.
But I have the same problem. It runs so slow and I get the spinny color wheel of doom every time I open the application.
So I ask my technological advisor to clean it up, put old pictures on a different external memory thingy and then free up some thinking time for the spinny wheel.
He says "it doesn't work that way".
I say "why not?"
He walks out of the room.
Parental controls are my nemisis.
I am trying so hard to protect my children from accidentally happening upon inappropriate websites and/or voluntarily seeking out websites that I find inappropriate.
So I set up the most restrictive parental controls known to man. I have to approve every single website that the kids want to go to. This shouldn't be time consuming because when a new website is visited a little window pops up and said "ask you mommy to let to you visit my website" to which I enter in an 54,000 digit secret code, and the vault of that website is now permanently available for the kids to visit so I don't have to approve that site again.
BUT that doesn't always happen. Sometimes I type in the secret decoder password a thousand times and still the website won't be approved.
I ask the tech guy and he says "hmm it should work".
Not helpful.
So then I have to log off the kinder user name and log on to the parental site and allow the kid full access to the computer in order for him to watch a National Geographic video on the dangers of plastic in the ocean.
So frustrating.
So, I have TWO computers that let me down daily and I have no understanding of why they are failing me.
Do they work? Absolutely.
Do they work to their greatest potential? No
Steve Jobs would be so disappointed.
I'm left with a few options: solve my own problems, coerce Matt to solve my problems in a manner that I find acceptable, or deal with it.
I'm feeling like going the IT route would have been much more beneficial than my Social Sciences degree. At this point my education can only help me understand how I feel about such frustrating aspects of modern technology, not help me solve the problems.
It is these moments of technological crisis that I do what I do very best....go online and shop for boots.
I am technologically retarded = tech-tarded.
My computer isn't cooperating with me and so I called upon my house technology geek and guru to fix my problems.
He informs me that my problems cannot be solved in the manner in which I desire them to be solved.
This makes me angry.
My computer is slow.
When the toilet is flushing slowly I: get a plunger, get a plumbing snake, get drano. Problem solved. Drain is unclogged and toiled flushes normally.
How in 2015 is there not a comparable "fix" method for my computer?
I just need to get rid of the extra gunk in the pipe, and free the flow of information.
Why is it so difficult?
iphoto.
I hate you and love you.
I hate that you are so slow and annoyingly simple.
I love that you have all my photos organized and in one little swoop of the mouse I can super rapidly scan through all the pictures in that folder whilst searching for some gem I just know is in one of two or three folders.
But I have the same problem. It runs so slow and I get the spinny color wheel of doom every time I open the application.
So I ask my technological advisor to clean it up, put old pictures on a different external memory thingy and then free up some thinking time for the spinny wheel.
He says "it doesn't work that way".
I say "why not?"
He walks out of the room.
Parental controls are my nemisis.
I am trying so hard to protect my children from accidentally happening upon inappropriate websites and/or voluntarily seeking out websites that I find inappropriate.
So I set up the most restrictive parental controls known to man. I have to approve every single website that the kids want to go to. This shouldn't be time consuming because when a new website is visited a little window pops up and said "ask you mommy to let to you visit my website" to which I enter in an 54,000 digit secret code, and the vault of that website is now permanently available for the kids to visit so I don't have to approve that site again.
BUT that doesn't always happen. Sometimes I type in the secret decoder password a thousand times and still the website won't be approved.
I ask the tech guy and he says "hmm it should work".
Not helpful.
So then I have to log off the kinder user name and log on to the parental site and allow the kid full access to the computer in order for him to watch a National Geographic video on the dangers of plastic in the ocean.
So frustrating.
So, I have TWO computers that let me down daily and I have no understanding of why they are failing me.
Do they work? Absolutely.
Do they work to their greatest potential? No
Steve Jobs would be so disappointed.
I'm left with a few options: solve my own problems, coerce Matt to solve my problems in a manner that I find acceptable, or deal with it.
I'm feeling like going the IT route would have been much more beneficial than my Social Sciences degree. At this point my education can only help me understand how I feel about such frustrating aspects of modern technology, not help me solve the problems.
It is these moments of technological crisis that I do what I do very best....go online and shop for boots.
Comments