Its a bad thing.

I was introduced to two websites recently (SteepandCheap.com and CleanSnipe.com) by two different people whom I view as drug dealers. The websites are both are evil and I consider them to be crack or some other highly addictive and expensive drug.

I watch the websites like an episode of Deadliest Catch or Amazing Race. I sit on the edge of my seat waiting for the next deal to pop up. I can't look away. And I buy things. Things I shouldn't buy. Like a coat and footwear.

Monday I bought a coat for Matt. Really. It is a snowboard jacket and I don't snowboard so there is no false pretenses with this purchase. And today I bought footwear....for me. However, it was slippers. That doesn't count against my vow not to buy shoes does it? I don't think so. Remember my favorite ever in the whole world slippers? Well, since they are no longer available and the ones that I am currently wearing are falling apart as I type, I bought a new pair of replacements.

I would like to claim that the websites made me do it, but that would be like saying crack makes you smoke it or snort it...or whatever you do with crack. I guess my weak willpower made me do it. So, I asked myself "self, why do you do it? why do you shop?" and self replied "the thrill of the hunt, the scammin' deal, and the new product arriving in the mail". Is shopping considered a hobby? Pastime? Special skill-set? Spiritual gift? I went too far with the last one didn't I?

I think if I calculated all the time I spent online on the hunt for winter boots for Eli or a screamin' deal on a pair of thermal bike tights for Matt, or whatever the hunt of the day is, I would be embarrassed to admit the total. I heard somewhere that what you do in your day reflects what is important to you. Vomit is welling up in my throat as that really sinks in. I would never claim that shopping is important to me, I don't think it is important to me, but if my actions reflect my heart....my heart is in desperate need of that surgery that cleans out all the important tube things.

I am awake for 15-16 hours a day. I need to evaluate how I spend those hours and determine if the way I spend the hours in my day are a true reflection of who I am or who I want to be. I pray that I will use the time that God gives me, in my day, and on this earth wisely. That the things I do will be a reflection of the things that are really important, the things that moths cannot destroy and thieves will not steal. The things that will last.