Scars are Awesome!

A few years ago, Eli had a suspicious mole cut off of his back.  When the doctor was talking with him about whether or not it needed cut off he mentioned that if it is cut off it would probably leave scar.  Eli was incredibly excited with talk of a scar.  He said "a scar would be awesome!"

I belly flopped on the sidewalk a few months ago.  I ripped my jeans, broke my coffee mug and skinned up my knee.  Every once in a while when I am putting lotion on my legs or doing something that involves me seeing that knee, I see a dark purple mark just below my kneecap and remember that great moment when I defied gravity for all of 2 seconds before coming back down to earth.  That scar makes me laugh.  That scar is awesome.

14 years ago I spent way more time than I wanted to in and out of doctor's offices trying to figure out why I had low platelets.  There were numerous consultations and gallons of blood tests that were inconclusive.  After a few months the doctor decided the only way to really know what was going on was for me to have a bone marrow biopsy.  A giant needle was shoved into my hip, a hole bored into my bone, and a little chunk of bone marrow extracted.  This procedure was incredibly painful.  Not only was there physical pain, it was an incredibly emotional experience for me.
Matt was deployed.  I needed a ride home from the doctor because they said I shouldn't drive, I needed someone to watch Eli because he couldn't come with me to the procedure and I really need someone to tell me everything was going to be ok.  If Matt was home, he would have dropped me at the clinic and taken care of Eli while he waited and then driven us all home.  But he wasn't.  And I needed a village.  As I lay face down on the exam table waiting for the procedure to begin I started to simply weep.  The doctor thought I was scared, which I was, but I was really crying about the weight of the whole thing.  For the first time in that deployment I just really needed Matt and he wasn't there.
The procedure was completed and I hobbled out to the waiting room to wait for my ride.  It should have been easy, get in the car, and ride home.  But there was a tornado watch and my friend charged with giving me a ride home thought it would be better for me to drive than leave my car parked in the clinic lot while the skies opened up. So I did.  I lowered myself in to the car and drove myself home, then picked up Eli from the neighbor, and parked my butt in a chair, away from windows and waited out the storm.
There is a scar on my hip where the bone marrow was extracted.  It is awesome but for different reasons. I had to rely on a village and I had to learn to be strong in difficult circumstances.  The emotions that I faced that day with the biopsy would be nothing compared to things that lay ahead.  It was kind of a training day for future trials.  When I feel that tiny scar, I remember the pain of the day, and coming out stronger.

Scars not only remind us of the injury or the pain, but they also remind us of the healing.  In road races you get a sweet medal to wear around your neck when you run victoriously across the finish line.  In life, you get a scar.  Whether emotional or physical that scar is a reminder of the pain and the triumph.  Scars are awesome.