The Internets

Never in my life has the ability to access the internet been so vital.

When I was in high school I used the internet at home for the first time.  It was dial up and we had to pay by the minute.  I remember I was doing research for a project at school and felt empowered to be "researching" at home outside of the library and piles of old books.  The internet was slow and there really wasn't that much information but really there was less pressure for internet performance because it wasn't THE source of research for me, I still had a library available.

Since then, there have been times when the internet was slow and I was frustrated because I couldn't accomplish a task.  But those tasks were streaming a show or ordering a new pair of boots.  

The other day I was using my handy Fitness+ app on my phone for a spin workout.  I was in the middle of the workout and the instructor started the count down to "give it all you've got".  30 seconds were on the clock, I was pushing hard, there were 10 seconds left, then there were 10 seconds left and 10 seconds left. I look up and see that she is frozen and time was standing still while I was dying over there giving it all I had.  

These were inconveniences.

What is not merely an inconvenience is when I can't log on to a zoom call to meet with students or I am supposed to be teaching an entire class and since the home internet is a bust so I am stuck trying to use my phone.  Picture this, I am holding my phone in my hand,  and flipping the screen to reveal my pen and paper as I explain a math problem.

Also way more than an inconvenience when a student finally shows up after missing meetings for three weeks in a row and then they can't hear a word I say because every time I open my mouth, the internet cuts out.

Did you try turning the computer off and on?  Yes.

Did you try resetting the router? Yes

Did you pay your internet bill? Yes

Did you turn off all the lights in the house and ensure nobody else was using anything that could connect to the internet, move your computer to the window and cross your fingers that you can connect?  Yes

So, the moment of panic sets in.  I have to decide if I want to try the computer for the staff meeting, use the phone for the staff meeting, drive at high speeds to get to the school in order to use the wifi there or just forget it all and call in sick.

This is the stuff that makes the pandemic intolerable.  Yes I can live with not going to soccer matches, eating in a nice restaurant, hanging out with friends all of that stuff, but what is not possible is teaching my students without reliable internet.

You're muted. You're cutting out. You're frozen.

I don't ever want to hear those words again as long as I live.