Apr 14, 2017

Fallen Ill

I have fallen ill.
I spent Sunday recovering from a traumatic pasta event from the day before and by Monday morning my stomach was happy again, but I was in full swing chest cold mode.
Not the way I wanted to spend Spring Break.
I have had more naps, cups of tea with honey, sleepless nights, and pure fogginess in the past 5 days than my entire life up to now.  I think, but then again I'm hopped up on meds and I don't know if my math skills are sharp.
It isn't a snotty nose, stuffed up cold, it is a my chest feels like its being sat on by an elephant cold.  At one point last night while I lay on the couch coughing violently I was sure I had lung cancer or black lung.  I sifted through 40 years of memories trying to recall if I had ever been exposed to coal dust or other carcinogens that might cause a sudden onset of broken lungs.
This morning I pulled myself out of bed or off the couch, I can't remember where I was, and rallied enough energy to take the Toyota in for its first check up.  Following that, I was feeling enough of a burst of energy that I went to the nail salon to repair the disaster that appeared on my 3 week old manicure.
Around 1pm, that is ONE O'CLOCK in the afternoon, I got a text from my oldest child asking where I was.  To which I replied "you just now realized I was missing?".  And he in turn replied with "I just figured you were still sleeping".
That is the kind of week it has been.  If I am not hacking and coughing on the couch, I'm passed out in bed, or at a baseball game.  This morning was the first time I wasn't doing any of the three.  Instead I was doing my best not to infect all those poor people at Toyota service center or the nail salon with this toxic lung thing I have going on.
On my way home from my adventures I stopped by my local grocery store to find some more drugs.  I decided that my issues are not getting better because I am using a generic form of Musinex instead of the real deal.  So today I bought all brand name, high potency drugs, and more tea, and I was looking for that vapor rub stuff that my mom used to put on my chest but I couldn't find it.  I think it is probably illegal now, because the truth is, the only reason why that stuff worked is because your chest flesh was smoldering and so you forgot that you couldn't breathe properly.  It is probably for the best that I couldn't find it because on the way home from the store I got in such a coughing fit that my nose started bleeding.  A sensitive nose mixed with that jar of menthal-magic is probably not a good combination.

PEOPLE, do you understand how bad it must be when you cough so hard your nose bleeds?

The family is taking great care of me, the boys are obviously "letting me sleep" and Matt is making sure I don't concoct some toxic mixture of theraflu and fake musinex.



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