The Stretchy Pant Saga

Late last year our family made the controversial decision to limit stretchy-pant wearing to: lounging around the house, athletic endeavors and neighborhood play.
We had come to this decision after constantly fighting with the elder child about the frequency in which he was sporting "comfy pants" and a hoodie at school,  and begging to wear the same look to church and everywhere else we went.  I battled him on this issue for all of September and October on my own. When Matt came home I consulted with him.  Am I being ridiculous?  Should we let him wear this to school all the time?
It was at that time that we spelled out our new stretchy pant policy.
I thought our rules were clear and the drama would be over.
I was wrong.
December 22.  It was a cold day.  Matt was at work and the boys and I were home.  I had some last minute shopping to do and decided it would be nice to take the boys to lunch downtown in Oly and then stop by a shop or two to finish my Christmas shopping.  Eli came downstairs in comfy pants.  I told him to change.  Tears rolled down his face and he started throwing a full on 2-year old fit...but he is 12.  At one point he actually yelled at me "so you are saying I have to wear uncomfortable jeans for my whole life?" and I replied "no, you can wear corduroys, kackies, cargo pants...".  He was not amused.  His decision that day was to stay home and make a PBJ.  He would rather stay home in his comfy cozy pants than put on jeans and go out to lunch with Gabe and I.
That was the last of the pants drama until this past week when it all hit the fan again.
This time I picked Eli up from school and noticed he was in comfy pants.  I asked why.  He responded because he wanted to.
Eli has an incredible and selective memory.  When I reviewed our stretchy-pant policy with him he said "you said you didn't want me wearing comfy pants to school EVERY day so I thought that meant one day a week would be ok".
I spent the next few moments reminding him of the conversation where I specifically outlined appropriate times for comfy-pants wearing and ensured that he now understood very clearly the family guidelines.
Then dad got home.
I rehash the days event with Matt and he informs me that he saw Eli in the comfy pants that morning and told him that he needed to go upstairs and change.
I'm furious.
Eli defends himself by telling us that actually Matt said "I suggest you go upstairs and change".
"Suggest" being the key word here.

The consequence of willful disobedience and truth twisting regarding the comfy pants: prompt confiscation of the comfy cozy pants.  Now we have the "check-out" system.  He has to come to me to request and justify the need to wear the pants.  He is no longer trusted to make wise choices regarding stretchy pants' use.

Why?  Why the hassle over these pants?

I'm teaching him a lesson about fashion.
Not really.
I'm teaching him a lesson about obedience and consequences.
When our family (Matt and I) decide on a rule or guideline for this home it is expected that all parties that fall under that rule follow it.
It's just pants.
But really it isn't.
Today it is pants but tomorrow it will be internet usage, curfew, car usage, dating rules, or whatever.  If he can learn now, over the pants, that Matt and I will work together to make standards for our family and we will stand together to uphold them, then maybe following the rules as the situations get more challenging and serious will be a little easier.

I explained this to him.  I said "today its your pants 4 years from now it is the car.  You live in our house you will be respectful of us and our rules in both word and deed."

Will this work?  I don't know.  But what I do know is he will be confident that choosing not to obey will have consequences. The only thing he will have to question is if those consequences are worth the action or not.

Comments

Unknown said…
I'm sure this is not the intend response but this post made me smile. Not because I am laughing at you but more how these kiddos of ours think the use of "suggest" is really a suggestion. I'm in the same boat with my little bundles of joy who try to use my words against me!
Allison said…
This is so funny and I accept the personal challenge to wear yoga pants everywhere, to obviously make up for the lack of their presence outside your household.
Rachael said…
Wow. This exact conversation could have taken place in my house over the last few months too! Although, I can one up you since my kids are schooled at home 3 days a week they NEVER want to leave stretchy pant world! We just made a rule that they cannot wear the same stretchy pant outfit twice in one week! Ha- they do try to sneak out in second day sweats quite often...

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