Wisdom in a Country Song
Every once in a while I get in a mood where I need to listen to a little country music.
Today was that day.
The day started off well enough for a Monday but things unravelled quickly upon my arrival home.
I wanted to ride my bike with Eli, but my tires were flat and despite my very best effort I couldn't figure out the German engineered tires on my bike. I know it sounds pathetic but it isn't your average tire I'm dealing with. I called Matt mid-fit and he couldn't help so I resigned to tossing my bike on the ground and going for a run.
With all the fit over the bike I left my gloves back at home and 10 minutes in to my run my fingers started falling off one by one in the freezing cold weather.
I pressed on.
It was cold, my legs were heavy and slow, and my heart just wasn't in it.
I spent the first part of the run still ranting over the bike tire and whining about my freezing hands and the rest of the run stressing over getting to the store and back home to make dinner for tonight and prep dinner for tomorrow night.
I didn't feel good at all during the run, but I did it, I logged my 3 miles for the day and that itself was an accomplishment considering the fiasco getting out the door.
On my way home from Costco I was snacking on some walnuts (no good samples available today so I actually had to buy something to tide me over until dinner) and turning up the country music.
I don't know who sings it or what the title is but the chorus goes like this:
If you're goin' through hell keep on going
Don't slow down if you're scared don't show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
When you're goin' through hell keep on moving
Face the fire, walk right through it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
I was blaring the music from my mini-van, singing loud and taking it to heart.
Last week I found out both my grandma and Matt's grandma were diagnosed with cancer.
Today was that day.
The day started off well enough for a Monday but things unravelled quickly upon my arrival home.
I wanted to ride my bike with Eli, but my tires were flat and despite my very best effort I couldn't figure out the German engineered tires on my bike. I know it sounds pathetic but it isn't your average tire I'm dealing with. I called Matt mid-fit and he couldn't help so I resigned to tossing my bike on the ground and going for a run.
With all the fit over the bike I left my gloves back at home and 10 minutes in to my run my fingers started falling off one by one in the freezing cold weather.
I pressed on.
It was cold, my legs were heavy and slow, and my heart just wasn't in it.
I spent the first part of the run still ranting over the bike tire and whining about my freezing hands and the rest of the run stressing over getting to the store and back home to make dinner for tonight and prep dinner for tomorrow night.
I didn't feel good at all during the run, but I did it, I logged my 3 miles for the day and that itself was an accomplishment considering the fiasco getting out the door.
On my way home from Costco I was snacking on some walnuts (no good samples available today so I actually had to buy something to tide me over until dinner) and turning up the country music.
I don't know who sings it or what the title is but the chorus goes like this:
If you're goin' through hell keep on going
Don't slow down if you're scared don't show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
When you're goin' through hell keep on moving
Face the fire, walk right through it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
I was blaring the music from my mini-van, singing loud and taking it to heart.
Last week I found out both my grandma and Matt's grandma were diagnosed with cancer.
My grandma is 82 and facing a battle with breast cancer.
Matt's grandma is 85 and has decided not to fight lung cancer.
I found myself laying in bed the other night with tears streaming down my cheeks. My heart was breaking as I imagined my grandma shuffling through hospitals for treatment appointments, laying weak in a bed and worrying about how much all this treatment was going to cost.
Then I flashed to Matt's grandma, her decision not to fight her cancer is understandable, those very images that worry me about my grandma played in to her decision not to fight. Instead she plans to spend her good days doing what she enjoys doing and has requested some good pain meds when things get tough.
It is true no matter how tough it is, a bad day, a difficult job, a terminal diagnosis our best choice is to keep on moving. Sure we might have the scent of smoke on our clothes on the other side, we may get burned, or maybe slip through unscathed, but we get to the other side of the journey, the trial, the pain.
I wanted to stop running so many times today for so many reasons. But the thing is stopping doesn't get me any closer to my destination and I risk things getting worse the longer I stay there. I'm still cold, grumpy, with a list of things to do, and frustrated in the middle of the trail instead of pressing on to get home, warm up by the fire and take care of business.
Oh if you are going through hell keep on going.
I found myself laying in bed the other night with tears streaming down my cheeks. My heart was breaking as I imagined my grandma shuffling through hospitals for treatment appointments, laying weak in a bed and worrying about how much all this treatment was going to cost.
Then I flashed to Matt's grandma, her decision not to fight her cancer is understandable, those very images that worry me about my grandma played in to her decision not to fight. Instead she plans to spend her good days doing what she enjoys doing and has requested some good pain meds when things get tough.
It is true no matter how tough it is, a bad day, a difficult job, a terminal diagnosis our best choice is to keep on moving. Sure we might have the scent of smoke on our clothes on the other side, we may get burned, or maybe slip through unscathed, but we get to the other side of the journey, the trial, the pain.
I wanted to stop running so many times today for so many reasons. But the thing is stopping doesn't get me any closer to my destination and I risk things getting worse the longer I stay there. I'm still cold, grumpy, with a list of things to do, and frustrated in the middle of the trail instead of pressing on to get home, warm up by the fire and take care of business.
Oh if you are going through hell keep on going.
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