"E" for Effort
The boys are midway through their second year of basketball. They have both improved so much this year in their skills and understanding of the game.
I am really proud to see Gabe emerge as one of team leaders. He isn't the high scorer but he is a great defender and a key player in running plays. He has scored a few times each game and is generally just a good all around player on the team. I don't speak basketball so I'm not sure I'm getting the terms correct but you get my point.
Eli is great on defense and has really increased his speed and endurance on the court this year. I am so very proud of him. He was a hot mess on the court last year. He didn't really understand the game and really struggled to stay on the move. However this year, he understands the game and the plays, he has gained confidence in shooting (not necessarily scoring but at least make some good attempts) and he is really getting quite skilled defending and grabbing rebounds.
At the end of each game the coach hands out little iron-on stars to each player highlighting their strength during that game. The stars are colored for Christ-Like, Sportsmanship, Offense, Defense and Effort. Last week Eli had a really good game and felt great about his performance until the coach handed him an "effort" star. When we got in the van we were talking about how great he did. He didn't hear us and he didn't hear the praise that the coach gave when he handed out the stars. All he heard was "effort".
You say "good effort" when you try really hard but fail.
You rarely say "good effort" to someone who just scored the winning basket for the team, or someone who won the lottery.
"Good effort" is a nice way of saying "you suck" at least in Eli's mind.
We encouraged him and talked to him about all the great things he did in the game, and moved on.
Today we were on the court again watching a fierce battle between Eli's team and another team of equal ability. The score was within 4 points for the entire game, and everyone was playing hard.
Eli was on it! He was slapping passes out of the opposing team's hands, grabbing rebounds, making some great screens, took a few great shots that barely missed, and he was in his opponent's head. He was sweaty from running so hard, and he was smiling because he was so proud!
At the end of the game a teammate's mom came up to me and commented on how great Eli played today she said "he was on fire today!" I commented that if the coach gave him another "effort" star he might have a breakdown. The coach started giving away stars and I held my breath as I listened for the comments he would have for Eli. He talked about how Eli jumped up and grabbed rebounds from guys that were taller than him, he mentioned that Eli disrupted at least a half dozen passes, and that he took advantage of a fast break and took the ball to the hoop. "Eli you get a yellow star for effort".
My heart sank and actual tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't look at him, I was afraid I would spin into a complete meltdown. He isn't the star of the team, he isn't great offense but today above all days he was an amazing team member and defender.
The other mom saw my horror and immediately came over to me. She tried to talk me down from my emotional cliff. She said it probably bothered me more than him. I told her that he is the one that feels like the coach doesn't see anything good he does for the team.
And then something magical happened.
White.
Not the white iron on star for Christ-likeness but white falling from the sky in thick beautiful flakes.
It started to snow.
Suddenly the effort star wasn't as important.
Who cares about an iron on when there is snow falling?
Before I could blink the tears away Eli was outside jumping around in the snow.
White saved the day.
At dinner Matt and I continually praised him, talked about all the great things he did and encouraged him as much as we could without it getting weird. Eli looked at me and declared "this game is the best I have ever played in my life".
And that is all that matters.
In his race, he won the ultimate prize - he did his very best!
I am really proud to see Gabe emerge as one of team leaders. He isn't the high scorer but he is a great defender and a key player in running plays. He has scored a few times each game and is generally just a good all around player on the team. I don't speak basketball so I'm not sure I'm getting the terms correct but you get my point.
Eli is great on defense and has really increased his speed and endurance on the court this year. I am so very proud of him. He was a hot mess on the court last year. He didn't really understand the game and really struggled to stay on the move. However this year, he understands the game and the plays, he has gained confidence in shooting (not necessarily scoring but at least make some good attempts) and he is really getting quite skilled defending and grabbing rebounds.
At the end of each game the coach hands out little iron-on stars to each player highlighting their strength during that game. The stars are colored for Christ-Like, Sportsmanship, Offense, Defense and Effort. Last week Eli had a really good game and felt great about his performance until the coach handed him an "effort" star. When we got in the van we were talking about how great he did. He didn't hear us and he didn't hear the praise that the coach gave when he handed out the stars. All he heard was "effort".
You say "good effort" when you try really hard but fail.
You rarely say "good effort" to someone who just scored the winning basket for the team, or someone who won the lottery.
"Good effort" is a nice way of saying "you suck" at least in Eli's mind.
We encouraged him and talked to him about all the great things he did in the game, and moved on.
Today we were on the court again watching a fierce battle between Eli's team and another team of equal ability. The score was within 4 points for the entire game, and everyone was playing hard.
Eli was on it! He was slapping passes out of the opposing team's hands, grabbing rebounds, making some great screens, took a few great shots that barely missed, and he was in his opponent's head. He was sweaty from running so hard, and he was smiling because he was so proud!
At the end of the game a teammate's mom came up to me and commented on how great Eli played today she said "he was on fire today!" I commented that if the coach gave him another "effort" star he might have a breakdown. The coach started giving away stars and I held my breath as I listened for the comments he would have for Eli. He talked about how Eli jumped up and grabbed rebounds from guys that were taller than him, he mentioned that Eli disrupted at least a half dozen passes, and that he took advantage of a fast break and took the ball to the hoop. "Eli you get a yellow star for effort".
My heart sank and actual tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't look at him, I was afraid I would spin into a complete meltdown. He isn't the star of the team, he isn't great offense but today above all days he was an amazing team member and defender.
The other mom saw my horror and immediately came over to me. She tried to talk me down from my emotional cliff. She said it probably bothered me more than him. I told her that he is the one that feels like the coach doesn't see anything good he does for the team.
And then something magical happened.
White.
Not the white iron on star for Christ-likeness but white falling from the sky in thick beautiful flakes.
It started to snow.
Suddenly the effort star wasn't as important.
Who cares about an iron on when there is snow falling?
Before I could blink the tears away Eli was outside jumping around in the snow.
White saved the day.
At dinner Matt and I continually praised him, talked about all the great things he did and encouraged him as much as we could without it getting weird. Eli looked at me and declared "this game is the best I have ever played in my life".
And that is all that matters.
In his race, he won the ultimate prize - he did his very best!
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