Do not be anxious about anything. Philippians 4:6

Earlier this year something new and unwelcome entered my life, it's a little thing called anxiety.

Even now typing those seven letters makes my heart pound a little faster.  When my counselor told me she felt like I was struggling with anxiety I told her "I'm going to need a minute to process that".  

If asked to describe myself, I would never have included this word as a characteristic.  I know plenty of people who are anxious, but I am not one of them. My husband went off to war twice, I've been a geographically single mom for long stretches more times than I can count, I have packed up and moved to new places nine times, and I've traveled all over to places where I didn't know the language or culture, been on flights that made "unscheduled landings" due to bird strikes or running low on fuel and I go to the dentist twice a year - none of those things ever shook me.  How could I have anxiety? That is simply NOT me.

And yet, it is.  Somewhere in the midst of all the strength and calm that I do have, a new thing boiled up inside of me and threatened to take me down. So, at the recommendation of a friend, I started seeing a counselor about five months ago.  The impatient side of me is frustrated that I am not "fixed" yet, but the more rational side of me knows that I have a bit of a road ahead of me.

I am still not willing to allow "anxious" to be a characteristic of who I am, but I do acknowledge that it is something that I am struggling with.

Back in June Matt and I had the chance to go to a Maverick City worship night in Charlotte.  One of the songs we sang that night is called Fear is Not my Future.  At some point during the song, Kirk Franklin asked the audience to turn to a stranger and tell them an area where they need a breakthrough.  As I tried my best to see through the tears in my eyes every single person around me had turned to someone and shared something.  While those things may be different, we all had some "thing" that we needed to be free from.  If you have a spare 11 minutes (yes that is how long the recording is) and you are open to some gospel music, I encourage you to listen to the song.  And if you have it in you, whisper to someone the area where you need a breakthrough and allow them to share in the burden of prayer and one day the celebration of victory.

Or if you have 20 minutes and want a gospel jam session here is a video.