Strassen Schaden

I am a bit of a crazy sleeper.

As in, the sheets look like I attempted origami with them in the middle of the night. It really seams impossible that one person could cause such a disaster, but somehow I do it.

When I was younger my mom would find me with my feet up on the wall, laying the opposite way I started in bed or sometimes half off the bed.

I'm super messy and I sleep hard. 

Fair warning: If I am asleep on the couch, do not wake me up.

Its like poking a bear. 

I strongly dislike someone waking me up to tell me to go to bed.

It seriously makes no sense.
It is pretty dangerous to wake me up anytime before 4am.  My brain simply cannot handle the confusion of waking up before my full dose of sleep has been achieved.
So this mix of me sleeping like the Tasmanian devil and not waking up well causes some problems sometimes when I go to bed before Matt.

Allegedly, last night I was sleeping pretty hard and when Matt came to bed he found me startfish-pose across every inch of the bed.

He had to move me over in order to make room for himself on the bed.

Allegedly, he woke me up while shoving me over and I sat straight up in bed and proclaimed "the monkey ate my homework".

He thought I must have been messing around and responded "I hate that monkey".

He was waiting for me to continue the monkey conversation when he realized I had already rolled over to my side and went back to sleep.

Allegedly.

Today Matt relayed this story to me and I almost pulled an ab muscle I was laughing so hard.  I don't know how he didn't pee his pants in laughter last night.  Seriously?  The monkey ate my homework?

So there ya go.