When a Dream Dies

When a person dies, family and friends gather and celebrate the life that was lived, laugh over the memories shared and cry over the loss of a future together.

When an animal dies, the belongs are tossed, tears are shed and stories are shared about what made that animal particularly quirky or sweet.

When a car dies, curse words may be uttered, money is shelled out and decisions are made whether to scrap it or repair it.

What do you do when a dream dies?

There is no prescribed method to process the loss or heal the wounds that cut deep. It may even feel silly that tears are being shed when nothing actually died, just the hope that it could have one day lived.

In a time of a pandemic, civil unrest, and social disorder sometimes the things that bring the greatest joy are not actual things,  but the hope of things, the dreams you focus on as you try to sleep at night.  When those hopes and dreams crumble, you will need a moment to collect yourself.

In this moment, when my dream is falling away, I simply can't imagine any other huge dream that I have had that died.  I am sure there was one, but vision is often clouded when your eyes are filled with tears.

I called my designated therapist, often referred to as my sister, and cried and blubbered on about my disappointment and sadness.  20 minutes later when my eyes were dried and I was a bit more rational, we agreed that the obvious next step was simple...revive the dream.  

My therapist advised me to break down the first dream, analyze what I really wanted to accomplish and then rebuild a dream that still achieves the desired outcome, but finds a new path to get there.

Dream: have a well-trained puppy to snuggle with on the couch and take running, hiking and on long walks.

Desired outcome: a companion that doesn't complain

Revised dream: have a dog that may or may not listen to commands, refuses to snuggle unless you have food, and causes injury when you attempt to run with her but will walk with you no matter how many miles you travel, in whatever conditions exist at any time of day without complaint.

So, what do you do when a dream dies?  Pull out the AED or do CPR and revive that sucker.  It may not be achieved in the way you hoped but there might still be another way at another time through different means.

Keep dreaming.