Mourning

Child: Mom, why are you dressed like you are going to a funeral?

Me: I had to go to work today.

I was simply wearing a black sweater and dark leggings.  There was nothing intentional about the somber outfit but maybe my subconscious was mourning a bit.

After a long, relaxing, enjoyable two weeks off of work I returned to my virtual classroom the first week of January. 

There was a bit of sadness in the air. Not just because vacation was over, but because we were starting school again in a virtual setting. There have been some great aspects of virtual school: some students have more parent involvement and support than before, distractions of other students are gone and attendance for classes is better than in person. However, overall it is still incredibly sad to be limited to staring at each other through the computer screen. There are no conversations as we pass each other in the halls, no impromptu conversations at all. Everything is calendared with a zoom link.

I hope I never forget the feeling of disconnect, so that I can never take for granted the opportunity to change the air of the room you are in. Call it vibes, mojo, energy, or whatever you want but there is something that happens on a metaphysical level when two people truly connect. Sometimes you feel the joy, compassion, sadness or excitement from someone by simply being in their presence. 

That is lost in virtual learning. That is something to be mourned. 

Maybe the dark sweater was just what was clean, or maybe it represented my mood, either way we press on, continuing to do our best with what we have going on and looking longingly to a different future.